AMSTERDAM (FICTION #7) – AMSTERDAM – 2014
A work about the dynamics of the city: a flyer was handed out in front of the Zuiderbad swimming pool, claiming that the
local government was out of money and planning to sell the swimming pool to a company who wants to turn it into a
commercial fish farm.
NO FISH FARM IN THE ZUIDERBAD
The city cannot afford the maintenance of the swimming pool and is going to sell the building to a company
who wants to start a fish farm. In the future the pools will be used to breed Fresh Water Tilapia’s. Of course
it’s a good thing that something is being done about overfishing, but is it necessary to close the swimming pool
for that purpose? The government tells us to eat healthier and fish is better than red meat, but is the government
not also telling us to exercise more, so isn’t it stupid to change a swimming pool into a fish farm? The city planned
to close the swimming pool twice in the past, but both times a protest group of concerned swimmers was able to
prevent it! That can be done again!
PLEASE HELP SAVE THE SWIMMING POOL!
AMSTERDAM (FICTION #12) – AMSTERDAM – 2014
A work about the dynamics of the city: a flyer was distributed in the Sarphatipark, telling the public that the park will be
closed and turned into a nature reserve, due to the (fictitious) presence of an endangered animal.
European tree frogs were found in the Sarphatipark. These creatures are faced with extinction. They are on the red list
of endangered species. That’s why the park will be closed to the public! Starting next week the inhabitants of ‘de Pijp’
won’t be allowed in! The park will be a nature reserve! That’s what the city council decided! But who gave the city council
the authority to exclude the residents from their park? Are tree frogs more important than people? Of course these
creatures want their peace, but do the inhabitants of this neighborhood not deserve a place to relax too? Would it not
be a better idea to capture these tree frogs and bring them to a zoo, where they can be taken care of?
Keep the park open! The Sarphatipark is for people!!!
AMSTERDAM (FICTION #3) – AMSTERDAM – 2014
A work about the dynamics of the city: a flyer was distributed near a notorious prison, asking the public (mainly students)
to protest against the (fictitious) plans to turn the building complex into a discotheque.
NO DISCOTHEQUE IN BIJLMER PRISON!!!
The Bijlmer prison will be closed next year. The inmates will be transferred to Zaandam and the city council sells
the building complex to a private developer who wants to change it into the biggest discotheque in Europe. You
should not change a place where so much suffering occurred into a discotheque! A place where men were told that
their wives want a divorce and that they are not allowed to see their children anymore, a place where men were raped
and where rivalry let to murders is not a place to dance!
HUMAN BEINGS were imprisoned here!! Show some RESPECT!! Make sure there won’t be a DISCOTHEQUE here!!
AMSTERDAM (FICTION #19) – AMSTERDAM – 2014
A work about the dynamics of the city: a flyer was distributed protesting against a (fictitious) free pop festival at a cemetery.
FREE POP FESTIVAL NOT AT ZORGVLIED!
On the anniversary of Herman Brood’s death on the 11th of July Zorgvlied cemetery will organize a free memorial concert
at the site of his grave. All day long there will be performances by well known Dutch pop groups like Kane, Di-rect, GEM,
Kensington, Moke and De Staat. It’s fantastic that all these musicians want to pay hommage to the most legendary
rock singer of the Netherlands, but is it absolutely necessary to do it at his grave? The memorial concert is part of
the plans of the new board of Zorgvlied to make the cemetery an innovative place where people come ‘to meet each
other and to experience something special’. What other events do they have in mind? A poetry festival at the grave
of Victor van Vriesland? A chess tournament at Hein Donner’s grave? Or do they think of a Shakespeare marathon
at the grave of Louis Bouwmeester with cooperation of Pierre Bokma and Gijs Scholten van Aschat? Is this really
necessary? Surely most people prefer to visit the grave of the ones they love in silence!
NO POP FESTIVAL AT ZORGVLIED CEMETERY! LET ZORGVLIED BE A PLACE OF PEACE AND QUIET!
AMSTERDAM (FICTION #16) – AMSTERDAM – 2014
A work about the dynamics of the city: a flyer was distributed in the neighbourhood around some sport grounds, claiming
that due to an increase of violence at football matches the city council decided to hand over the fields to a cricket club.
NO CRICKET IN AMSTERDAM-NORTH!! SPORTS CLUB DE METEOOR WILL BE FORCED TO STOP!!
BECAUSE OF THE INCREASE OF VIOLENCE AT AMATEUR FOOTBALL MATCHES THE BUREAUCRATS
AT CITY HALL DECIDED THAT THEIR SPORT FIELDS MUST BE HANDED OVER TO THE AMSTERDAM
CRICKET CLUB VRA!! THEY CALL IT A CIVILIZATION PROGRAM!! THEY BELIEVE THAT IF ALL CHILDREN
PLAY CRICKET INSTEAD OF FOOTBALL THEY WILL BECOME LAW-ABIDING CITIZENS!! BUT AN ELITIST
SPORT LIKE THAT HAS NO PLACE IN AMSTERDAM-NORTH!! TUINDORP OOSTZAAN WANTS TO PLAY
FOOTBALL!! NO COMPULSORY CRICKET FOR CHILDREN!! SPORTS CLUB DE METEOOR MUST STAY!!
AMSTERDAM (FICTION #11) – AMSTERDAM – 2014
A work about the dynamics of the city: a flyer was distributed in the Vondelpark, protesting against a (fictitious) film shoot.
NO NUDE HIPPIES IN THE VONDELPARK!!!
From the 5th to the 9th of June they will shoot the film LOVE & PEACE in the Vondelpark. It’s a film about the 70’s,
when Hippies from all over the world came to the Vondelpark to sleep, make music, have sex and use drugs, because
Amsterdam was the ‘magical center’ of the world! But that is not a good reason to give a filmmaker permission to shoot
naked Hippies, bare-breasted girls dancing and couples making love during regular opening hours when there are
mothers with children and normal people who want to relax in the Vondelpark.That’s not how we do things these days!
If a filmmaker wants to shoot naked people he can do it in a studio, NOT in a public park!!
ABSTRACT ART #1 – DEN HAAG – 2011
In the immediate vicinity of Ferry Simonis’ abstract sculpture a leaflet complaining about “that sculpture
of three homosexual men with an erection having anal intercourse” was distributed. Residents were
asked to call or email the local government, demanding the removal of the sculpture.
NO HOMOSEXUAL ART IN OUR NEIGBOURHOOD!!!!
At the corner of Kamperfoeliestraat/Mient stands a white sculpture of 3 homosexual men
with an erection having anal groupsex!! So close to the childrens playground! It’s a
DISCRACE! We want our children to grow up in a safe enviroment! PROTEST!! Keep
those HOMOSEXUAL SCULPTURES in the museum!! We don’t want that kind of
behaviour!! Who do they think they are? They shouldn’t bother us with that kind of
HOMOSEXUAL ART!!!! PROTEST!!!!
Call the city council: tel 14070 or send a letter to:
Onderwijs, Cultuur en Welzijn, Postbus 12652, 2500 DP Den Haag
And demand the removal of that ridiculous
ABSTRACT ART #3 – ROTTERDAM – 2011
In the high-rise buildings around the sculpture of Henk Visch a racists & anti-art flyer (representing
the current debate in the Netherlands) was distributed. Someone sent copies to local art institutes,
who reported it to the police. On December 17 there was a huge police presence, but of course no
Saterday December 17
at the Erasmus bridge
The art mafia and the local asshole politicians erected a ‘beautiful’ multicultural sculpture
next to the Erasmus bridge. Very colorful! Because it is so cosy with all these arabs,
moroccans, turks, surinam people and artists! These socialists spent millions of euros
on that colorful multicultural sculpture! Good for integration, they say! An invitation to all
colorful people from the south of Rotterdam to come our way!! But they never ask us
white people our opinion!! That’s why we’re going to paint that multicultural sculpture
white! Come to the Erasmus bridge on December 17 at 3 o’clock! Bring white paint
& paint brushes! Let’s do it! Let’s get rid of these colors the sculpture will be white!!
ABSTRACT ART #4 – DEN HAAG – 2012
All residents living close to the abstract sculpture of Hans Kleyweg received a leaflet with the warning
“do not come near this dangerous sculpture, sculpture is evil eye”.
Do not let your child play on square near white sculpture! Very dangerous! Sculpture is EVIL EYE /
brings bad luck / sculpture makes children ill and pregnant women miscarry / do not walk your dog
on the square because it will also get ill and die
SCULPTURE = EYE OF THE DEVIL!
do not come near / VERY DANGEROUS
ABSTRACT ART #5 – AMSTERDAM – 2012
A flyer claiming that ‘a deadly accident occurred at the red climbing wall’ was distributed around
the abstract sculpture of Alfred Eikelenboom. People were asked to contact the local government
and ask for safer climbing holds and the presence of a supervisor.
CLIMBING WALL MEEUWENLAAN IS TOO DANGEROUS!
Again a deadly accident occurred at the red climbing wall at the Gedempte Insteekhaven / Meeuwenlaan.
This has to stop! There is no supervision at all and everybody (young & old) can go climbing without
professional guidance. That is asking for trouble! Does the city council intend to do something about it
or are they waiting for more fatalities? We propose to add a trajectory of colourful climbing holds, as is
common with other climbing walls. According to us the only way to avoid accidents by unexperienced
climbers is the presence of a supervisor. We ask everyone to contact the city council (by email or tel.)
to ask for better climbing holds and for the recruitment of a supervisor. Let’s join hands to make
our neighbourhood a safer place!
ABSTRACT ART #6 – GRONINGEN – 2012
In the neighbourhood around the abstract sculpture of Siebe Hansma a leaflet was distributed
asking people ‘why is nobody bringing flowers to the war memorial on remembrance day?’.
Suggesting that the red triangle of the sculpture referred to the red triangle communists had
to wear in the concentration camps in World War II.
Why do we no longer commemorate the brave men who fought for our freedom? Why is the number
of people that come to the 4th of May remembrance day, that takes place at the war memorial
at the Slachthuisstraat, decreasing? Do we take our freedom that much for granted? Let’s not forget!
In Groningen it was the communist party who actively resisted the German occupation. The red triangle
of the monument refers to the red triangle communists had to wear in the concentration camps.
We fought against repression, fascism and racial discrimination! Let’s not forget!
Even today there are political parties who reduce our liberties. Parties who discriminate and humiliate
other people because they are ‘different’. Let’s not look away! Come to the memorial service and
show that you are not indifferent to other citizens and to the values of a democratic society.
Please bring RED FLOWERS to the War Memorial on the 4th of May. Join us!!
Friday May 4 2012 at 20.00 h. Corner of Slachthuisstraat/Damsterdiep
MUSEUM #9 – UTRECHT – 2014
In the neighbourhoods around the former headquarters of the NSB (Dutch Nazi Party) a flyer was
distributed asking people to donate militaria and collectables in their possesion to a new (ficticious)
museum. Dutch news agencies got hold of the story and wrote ‘Utrecht fears NSB-museum’.
A new NSB-museum will be opening soon in the former headquarters of the NSB.
The museum will not only show the history of the NSB from its creation in Utrecht
in December 1931 till its abolition in 1945, but also pay attention to the fate of the
(grand)children of NSB-parents after WWII. Historians do not think as much in
terms of ‘right’ & ‘wrong’ as they used to. There is more emphasis on studying the
backround and motives of the people who cooperated with the ‘enemy’. The museum
will highlight little-known aspects of the history of the NSB. Most people do not know
that the NSB did not start out as an antisemitic party (a considerable number of Jewish
shopkeepers were party members in the 30’s). It was during the occupation that anti-
semitic members gained full control of the party. We tend to forget that the NSB was
a patriotic and a royalist party before the war. A section of the museum will be devoted
to the experiences of the (grand)children of NSB-parents. How on the one hand they
loved their parents, like everbody else, but how they had to deal with society’s judgement
of their parents at the same time, which gave them the feeling that they were not allowed
to exist and should hide all the time.The NSB-museum can use fascinating objects and
documents from the archives of the leading museums, but because of the taboo on the
NSB a lot of things got lost or were not collected in the past.That’s why we ask your help:
Do you have NSB-militaria and collectables? Do you have diaries or letters from family
members who were NSB party members? We would appreciate it you would be willing to
donate these documents and objects to the new NSB-museum. You can bring them
yourselves or send them to:
Maliebaan 35 3581
News websites report:
MUSEUM #18 – AMSTERDAM – 2015
Inhabitants of the Bijlmermeer (a neighbourhood with a bad reputation) received a coupon for a (ficticious) free lesson
in ‘good manners’ in a historic manor-house (now Museum Willet-Holthuysen) in the centre of Amsterdam.
It comments on the growing gap between rich and poor and the mechanisms of exclusion.
EXCLUSIVE OFFER FOR INHABITANTS OF THE BIJLMERMEER: GOOD MANNERS CAN BE LEARNED!
How do you make a good first impression? In what order do you introduce people to each other? When do you
give someone your business card? How are you supposed to behave at a twelve course dinner? All the good
manners you need to be succesful in life can be learned at Museum Willet-Holthuysen. Inhabitants of the
Bijlmermeer can attend the free introductory course of ‘Etiquette for the Elite’ in Museum Willet-Holthuysen.
In the different period rooms of the museum at the Herengracht one learns how to behave correctly:
In the Dining Room the basics of good table manners are demonstrated and the right use of the 275-part tableware
will be explained to you. In the Salon the correct manners for formal parties will be taught and in the Drawing Room
one learns how to engage in civilized conversation about art and politics. Register for the free introductory course:
MUSEUM #15 – HAARLEM – 2015
In Haarlem a flyer was distributed advertising a (ficticious) esotheric event in the Teylers Museum,
using the pseudo-scientific rhetoric that is populair with spiritual groups.
CRYSTAL HEALING FOR EVERYBODY!
What is crystal healing? It’s the science of healing stones. A gentle system of holistic healing that uses the energy of
gemstones to restore balance and harmony in our body.Every crystal has its own specific energy frequency. It transforms
the frequency of our body cells. Crystal healing balances the energyfield of our body and harmonizes the chakras, to create
a feeling of well-being and to strengthen the self-curing capacities of our body. On Wednesday January 21 you can
balance your energy system. That day the Teylers Museum will open the glass display cases with the oldest and the most
powerful crystal collection of the Netherlands for us. This special collection will have an instant cleansing and energizing
effect on the aura and the chakras of every visitor. The effect of healing stones is direct and without side effects. It is suitable
for everyone. Harmonize your mind, your body, your soul.
Spaarne 16, Haarlem
January 21, 2015
MUSEUM #13 – DEN HAAG – 2014
A flyer was distributed at several parking lots in The Hague, advertising a (ficticious) pipe smoke contest in
the Museum of Literature. It questions the use of collecting and showing utilitarian items once owned by writers
and it also questions the ‘event culture’ forced upon museums.
GODFRIED BOMANS PIPE SMOKING CONTEST JOIN AND WIN 5.000 EURO
Once again the Museum of Literature organizes the Godfried Bomans Pipe Smoking Contest. On Monday
December 22 at 10:00 AM the original pipe of writer Godfried Bomans will be taken from its display case and
participants can show us how long they can keep the pipe burning. Do you want to enjoy a good-tasting
pipe in civilized surroundings, then register: firstname.lastname@example.org
Come December 22 to the Museum of Literature, Prins Willem-Alexanderhof 5, Den Haag. During the holidays
the Museum of Literature is also open on Mondays. The Museum of Literature is sponsored by Imperial Tabacco.
MUSEUM #12 – DEVENTER – 2014
A flyer about the closure and the (ficticious) sale of the collection of the Toy Museum was distributed in Deventer.
After the closing of the historical museum now the toy museum will close too!
Not profitable enough! Too few visitors!
Therefore: spectaculair liquidation sale. Saturday November 22.
Let your children play with real toys! Give the toys a second life! Antique toys at minimum prices!
A golden opportunity for Santa Claus! Get an extra 50% off with this flyer.
MUSEUM #6 – LEIDEN – 2014
In all the wealthy neigbourhoods of Leiden flyers for a (ficticious) demonstration were distributed. Dealing with the
unresolved issue of Dutch colonial history (while at the same time operating as guerrilla marketing for the museum).
Moluccans announced that they will demonstrate on the 4th of October in front of the Rijksmuseum Volkenkunde because
they demand the statues of their ancestors back. The world-famous sculptures ‘Werwat & daughter’ were shipped to
Holland in 1913 by a Dutch military commander. And now the Moluccans want to return them to their original place
to enable the inhabitants of the island of Kai Kecil to worship their ancestors again. That is a ridiculous idea!
It’s a trick to get their hands on these valuable sculptures! If every ethnic group demands their stuff back the museum
will soon be empty! Only museums can take good care of these art objects! That’s why ‘Werwat & daughter’ should
stay in Holland! So raise your voice for the preservation of our heritage!
Come to the counter demonstration, Saturday October 4, at 1.00 PM. Rijksmuseum Volkenkunde.
MUSEUM #3 – UTRECHT – 2014
In Utrecht a flyer was distributed inviting everybody to come to the museum of religious art to kneel in front of the sculpture
‘Jesus as Saviour of the World’ and prey for world peace. It was a fictitious event, giving the sculpture its original function
back for just one sunday afternoon.
More and more wars going on around us, an economic crisis that doesn’t stop, and a deadly virus coming from Africa:
ONLY JESUS CAN SAVE THE WORLD Please come to the Utrechtzaal in Museum Catharijneconvent on Sunday
September 21 at 3:00 PM to kneel in front of JEZUS AS SALVATOR MUNDI and ask for His Mercy and Peace.
There can only be peace on earth if we let ourselves be touched by Jesus and live in de spirit of his gospel.
Let us enter into His Holy presence and pray that His Kingdom of peace will come soon.
Sunday September 21, at 3:00 PM Museum Catharijneconvent.
PROPAGANDA (USELESS ACTION #20) – THE NETHERLANDS – 2011
Leaflets with the text GOD DOESN’T EXIST were dispersed from the heavens.
PROTEST (USELESS ACTION #3) – ROTTERDAM – 2010
A demonstrator ‘distributed’ flyers with the text ABOLI$H CAPITALI$M NOW!
from the Euromast in Rotterdam. A futile attempt to reach other people.
PROTEST (USELESS ACTION #7) – KÖLN – 2010
A demonstrator ‘distributed’ flyers from a bridge over the A57 entering Köln.
A desperate attempt to influence other people.
PROTEST (USELESS ACTION #13) – ROTTERDAM – 2010
A woman ‘distributed’ leaflets in the subway of Rotterdam.
An attempt to reach out to other people.